Holy Cross Monastery, West Park, NY
Brother Scott Wesley Borden, OHC
BCP – Good Friday C - Friday 09 April 2006
The week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday is quite a roller coaster of experience. Last Sunday things were going pretty well. Jesus makes the triumphant trip into Jerusalem - he doesn't even have to walk, he gets a Donkey to ride on.
And Easter Sunday causes the joy of Palm Sunday to pale in comparison. For there simply is no greater wonder, no greater joy, no greater promise of hope, than the promise of Easter. We are the resurrection people. This coming Sunday is at the very core of our lives as followers of Christ.
But here we are somewhere between the two. And for Jesus and his followers things have gone terribly wrong. Between the pinnacles, here we are in the very deepest of valleys.
Of course we know something about today that the followers at the actual event didn't know. We know that this is not the end of the story. We know about Easter - about the resurrection. They might have suspected - Jesus dropped a few hints along the way. But they didn't know what was coming next.
All they could have known is that just when things were going really well, just when Jesus was starting to receive the kind of royal recognition he deserved, just when they were making this triumphant ride into Jerusalem, their world was shattered. Their dream was destroyed. Their vision was obliterated. What despair, what inconceivable sorrow they must have known. We can't really know that feeling because we know the story does not end.
And so we are pulled in two directions - either glossing over the events of today as something we have to get through in order to get to Easter; or delving into the utter horror of the events - the cruelty, the gore, the inhumanity, the ugliness.
I have to confess I'm far more drawn to the former - I'm far more interested in getting on to Easter; getting on with life. And I think Mel Gibson in his current film "The Passion" is far more drawn to the latter; the violence and the gore. And much as I would love to congratulate myself and criticize Mr. Gibson, I have come to believe that the Gospel message is not complete without both intentions.
Without a realization of the shocking horror, the abject inhumanity, the depravity of which we are capable, the Gospel is just a bit bland. If I'm not all that bad then my salvation is not all that big a deal. But the reality is that there is no evil in the world, no darkness, no horror, that also doesn't have at least a little place in my heart. When we, as the crowd shout "crucify" it is utterly appropriate for me. I have to face full on the fact that I could have been part of that crowd. Worse still, like Peter, I could have denied my Lord. It is even possible that I could, like Judas, have been the betrayer. And to be really honest, I have to admit that there are times in my life when I have - and will - deny Christ, betray Christ, do my part to crucify Christ. That darkness - the whipping, the blood, the treachery - is part of the Gospel story and it is part of me. But thank God it is not the whole story.
The part of the story that most appeals to me - the forgiveness of sin, the building of God's kingdom, the just and brilliant Jerusalem where the gates are open in every direction, where there is no night, where all is good - the Gospel hope, is all the more dazzling given the darkness where we start.
So what do we do to avoid being drawn to the pure prurience of dwelling too much on the horror of the crucifixion while at the same time not denying the wanton ugliness.
For me, the powerful way to experience the events of today's Gospel is to try to put myself in the position of the disciples. What if all I knew today is that Jesus is crucified, dead, and buried? What if Christ died today, April 9, 2004? What if I didn't yet know about the resurrection that we will celebrate on April 11, 2004? What would happen in my life? What would I be afraid of losing? What might I think I had gained?
If Christ died today and didn't rise, my comfortable life here in a Christian Monastery, would be in doubt. Our grand Episcopal liturgical celebrations with great choirs, thundering pipe organs, beautiful vestments, sweet smelling incense, would all be rather pointless. Some of the finest pieces of architecture, of music, of art, would be stripped of meaning and future artists would not be inspired - in the true sense of that word.
You may be noticing a problem with my list (and perhaps the list you have been making in your own mind along with me...)... These are all nice things, but they are not of the essence of living out my baptismal covenant. They are not essential to being a Christian.
Who would I pray to? And what would I pray for if Christ died today and did not rise? This is a more essential set of questions - but honestly I already struggle with these questions. In fact if Christ died today and did not rise, I might find it a bit of a relief to no longer have to struggle with this pair of questions.
Would my life have purpose, meaning, and direction? Well I know people who have no particular belief in God who's lives have purpose, meaning, and direction. So I suppose my life could go on and be quite fulfilling if Christ died today and did not rise again. And I suppose this is some of what the disciples were pondering in the aftermath of the crucifixion - how to get on with their lives.
But what could not survive, at least for me, is the vision of the Gospel, of God's kingdom - in this world or the next - of salvation. I don't know what kingdom I would be building if Christ died today and did not rise. For me this is the question that is almost too hard to ask. What vision would I have for this world if Christ died today and did not rise?
Christ doesn't die and stay dead. The gospel can not be killed - by us or by anyone.
Today in the midst of horror and hope, sadness and joy, despair and elation... today might be a good day to take stock of what it means to be loved by Jesus and to love and to follow Jesus - the essential qualities, not the nice qualities.
Perhaps in that reflection we will find parts of our vision of Christ and our vision of our relationship with Christ that need to die and not resurrect so that we are more fully alive for the resurrected Christ.
And we will find visions of Christ and our relationship with Christ that are so essential, so powerful, so life-giving, that we really can't think what we would do if Christ were not alive in our lives. It is in the facing of death that we become most aware of life.
Lord Jesus, you are so present with us that we can sometimes take that presence for granted. In these next few days help us to be more keenly aware of you and of what you are calling forth in our lives so that we may be your resurrection people and the builders of your kingdom. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment