Holy Cross Monastery, West Park, NY
Brother Robert Magliula, n/OHC
BCP – Easter 2 C - Sunday 15 April 2007
Acts 5:12a, 17-22,25-29
Revelation 1:(1-8)9-19
John 20:19-31
The experience of living in community, any community, underlines the fact that each one of us suffers in one way or another. It may be that we feel the physical pains of illness or aging. It may be that we hurt from disappointment over the problems and situations in our lives. Addiction or fear may immoblize and frustrate us. We may ache out of a sense of loss from death, rejection, or failed dreams. Our anguish may come from our concern about the pain and suffering in the world, with its waste and potential for destruction. Each one of us, in one way or another, suffers.
The terrible thing about suffering is not only the pain that we have, but the fact that suffering blocks out other parts of life so that we aren't able to experience anything else. We have the story of Thomas set before us this morning. He is an excellent illustration of the human tendency to project on to others the things we fear most in ourselves. Thomas is usually called "the doubter", but I think that his primary characteristic is not skepticism. In thinking about Thomas this week, I began to appreciate how his faith, his ability to trust, was blocked not by doubt, but by the reality of suffering and the fear it birthed.
He remembered that last week in Jerusalem: the scorn shown to Jesus; the betrayal and rejection of the disciples, including his own turning away; the agony of the crucifixion;and the loneliness of Jesus' death must have been overwhelming. The pain and suffering of Jesus was so real, the hurt and disappointment of Thomas were so intense, that everything else was blocked, including his faith, his ability to trust God, himself, or the disciples.
When told about the empty tomb and Jesus' appearances to the others, Thomas said: "Unless I see the mark of the nails on his hands, unless I put my finger into the place where the nails were, and my hand into his side, I will not believe." Thomas couldn't see or trust anything beyond the reality of Jesus' suffering and his own. I think that Thomas has something to say to us not only because he experienced the pain of suffering, but also, and more importantly, because he found Christ and was found by Christ in his suffering.
A week after Jesus' first appearence the disciples were again in the upper room and Thomas was with them. Jesus came and stood among them, saying "Peace be with you." Then he turned to Thomas and offered himself. "Reach your finger here", he said, "see my hands. put your hand in my side. Be unbelieving no longer, but believe." Suffering was not the last word for Thomas. It was through suffering, not by escaping from it, that Thomas was healed. Suffering is not to be glorified or romanticized, nor is it to be denied. In and through suffering Thomas was transformed by God. It was through it that he experienced the power and presence of God.
My experience has taught me that when I least expect Jesus and most need him, he appears. Suffering comes. suffer we will. There is no escape or exemptions from it. It is our human condition. In our imperfect lives and world there is sickness, death, hate, and injustice. People are victimized, hungry, homeless, rejected, and discarded. The issue is not whether we suffer, but rather, for what do we suffer. Are we are suffering because we are concerned with love, justice, forgiveness, or truth? Does our suffering come from wounded pride, frustrated selfishness, loss of control, or the failure to help ourselves?
To all who suffer Christ comes saying, "Peace be with you." Reach your finger here; see my hands. Reach your hand and put it in my side. Be unbelieving no longer, but trust." To the extent that our suffering comes from our own self-centeredness, from our desire to control and manipulate, from our own self-pity, our own willfulness, we can look at the pierced hands and wounded side of Jesus, acknowledge our faults and hear his words of acceptance and love. He takes the suffering we inflict on ourselves and others, absorbs our anger, denial, and rebellion, and restores us as his beloved.
To the extent that we do live for others, that we are trying to alleviate pain and work for justice in the world, the wounded healer comes to us with his peace. He stands alongside us. Our sufferings are transformed, and we express our love for him in our love for others---especially those who are the least and the last. Our sufferings become a participation in his suffering. As he breathed his life, his Spirit into the first disciples, so we too share in his life and mission to the world. In this way, the pain and evil endured, become not just more suffering but a sign of greater love.
Like Thomas we all need to see the mark of the nails and touch the place where they were. That sight frees us to see our own wounds and those of others compassionately, not fearfully. Christ is alive. Thomas' story encourages us to find as he did, that when we trust enough to admit our need, Jesus meets us where we are, ready to supply what we need. The enemy of faith is not doubt but fear. Doubt can serve us, but fear imprisons us. We are called to move beyond our fear, and step out knowing that Jesus walks beside us.
+Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment